Get up and eat.

When people talk about me as a kid I always wonder what they're going to say...

Most people would tell you that I was a fearless kid who had sass for days and beautiful long curly hair. Others would tell you that I was smart and not very quick to trust. And a very small group of people would tell you that they have never met another little girl with so many fears in their life.

As I grew up, I decided that there was no space for fear and growth in the same room.

So instead of learning to face it, I tried my very best to push fear to the side.

I spent a long time running away from my problems, until eventually I realized there was nowhere left to run. It's almost funny looking back, the longer I ran the slower I got and the more speed my problems picked up. I thought that if I could just ignore them, eventually they would pack their bags and find someone else to bother, but that's not really how problems work.

At some point, life shows you that those problems are no one else's but your own. And when it does, you learn that you have to grow up and stand up to those fears. It sounds a little funny, but you really do. And eventually, you build yourself into someone who's bigger than their fears.

I'm learning that becoming that person doesn't always look the way I thought it would. Sometimes it looks a lot less like bravery and a lot more like sitting with something you desperately want to fix and realizing you can't right now.

Other times, it means looking your problems straight in the face and finally doing something about them.

I think growing up is learning the difference.

I remember reading about Elijah in the Bible. After everything he'd been through, he reached a point where he simply couldn't do it anymore. He was exhausted, afraid, and convinced there was nothing left to give. I think it's so human to want answers in a moment like that. Some kind of plan or strategy. Something that tells us exactly how to fix everything we've broken.

But before God gave Elijah any of that, He simply told him, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." And I think that part matters. God didn't tell Elijah to stay under the tree forever. He told him to rest and eat because there was still a journey ahead of him.

Sometimes the next step isn't finding the perfect solution. Sometimes it's becoming strong enough to take one more step anyways.

You can't always fix what you broke. But if you're willing to repair the parts of yourself that led you there, you'll be a little more careful the next time life puts something precious in your hands.

Love, val<3

Learning to hope...

It's such a beautiful concept, to have been given the chance to experience this life, just to learn to let it go in hopes of a next adventure.

We tend to think that everything on this earth is ours to conquer, as if there's anything here we could truly take with us. I've always been pretty attached to the things in my life, even when no one else notices, correction… especially when no one else notices. I used to think that if I wanted something bad enough but kept it to myself, it might just come true. As if life was a collection of birthday wishes and fountains full of pennies.

Somewhere along the way I realized that wasn't how it worked, and I let that take my hope. But losing the wish was never the same as losing the hope. It just meant that ownership doesn't always equal permanence. I mean, imagine if everything you ever wanted became yours. Every person. Every opportunity. Every dream. Every version of your life you could think of. There would be nothing left to long for, nothing left to discover, and nothing left to become. And aren't we glad that's not the case?

Maybe the beauty of life was never in collecting things we could keep forever. Maybe it was always in borrowing them for a little while. People, places, moments, and even versions of ourselves, and loving them fully anyway.

Because the greatest lesson life has to offer isn't how to hold on. It's learning how to let go with gratitude.

7/20/2026

 Hiiiiiiii guys!!!!!!

Okay so, it's 11:57 p.m on a Monday night, and I decided to start a blog...

I'm not too sure what the gameplan is just yet, but I think I want this to be an open space for me to explore my more random, meaningful, or completely mundane thoughts as they show up in my day-to-day life. I want this to be a small corner in a vast sea of URLs where I can learn to express what I notice in my life and maybe keep some kind of record of what I've learned along the way. I can't promise much, to any potential readers or even myself, but I have a feeling this is going to be a lot of fun anyway.  So please sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride... 

love, val<3